Am I Getting on your Nerves? I Need Feedback

I don’t know if I’m writing too frequently? It seems to come in waves. Lately I’m just feeling like blogging a bit more but I don’t want to overdo it and lose your interest.

I don’t want my blog to always be depressing. I don’t want it to bring my readers down or darken your days. This is a tough scene and shit is getting more and more real every day over here. And I’m not sure how to share it with you without being a downer.

I don’t want to worry you or make you think I’m about to do something drastic. But I don’t know how to tell you what I feel without sounding dramatic and like I want it all to end, because I do want it all to end.

I want to write about positive things, (and I am still working on a post about the special people in my life), and I do try to share my small victories with all of you, but the reality is that there aren’t many happy moments or good things happening right now.

I am scared and stressed and facing some big decisions and I don’t know who to turn to to help me navigate them. But I don’t know how to write about it because really, only I can decide my life.

My blood results are back. I just got a notification and checked them on my portal, and the doctor’s notes attached. It is RA. If I’m reading the results correctly, it’s very severe/advanced RA, BUT…BUT I may not be reading the test correctly. I’ll call the rheumatologist’s office first thing tomorrow and get something scheduled to talk to him and learn more.

Meantime, I’m not making any decisions about my spine or surgery. I need to learn what i can about the RA and treatment first, and then I can decide which horrible condition needs to be prioritized. Good times.

I’m also sad today at learning of the passing of a GK adopter who meant a lot to me. He didn’t even adopt my foster dog, so I never knew him. He was just a special person who worked his way into my life. I never met him in person, but we became FB friends, and he was a wonderful supporter of the rescue. He and I shared a birthday and would chat back and forth from time to time and OMG did he LOVE his dog. He was just a genuinely nice guy and too young to die. RIP SS, you had an impact on my life and I’ve asked Michael to look out for you. He’s a good guy and he’ll show you around. ❤

So please readers, help me. How can I share my experience with all of you, how can I possibly hopefully help others who will walk in these steps someday, how can I let the blog do its job (which is to be my therapeutic tool) without driving others away? How can I be honest and be authentic without this becoming a depressing place to visit? What would make you want to share this blog for others to read? I’d love to see my readership grow. And I’d love for you to tell me what you think of the blog. I can’t promise I will change anything as this is what I need it to be, but I’d like to understand it from others’ perspectives.

Peace,

~ Lisa

 

9 thoughts on “Am I Getting on your Nerves? I Need Feedback

  1. Another thing, has Alan ever talked to you about his bean diet? Well, ask me about it if you are interested. The bean diet book (“And they said it wasn’t possible: true stories of people who were healed from the impossible”) explains the why and how in detail and is a great read. It was written specifically as a heal for RA! The diet (beans are the crux) is simple to follow, takes diligence, but is the ticket for many to improve health. Greta

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  2. I agree with what everybody else is saying. Just be real and if we can’t handle it, that’s our issue, not yours. Getting it out can only help you, because keeping the grief and worries and health issues inside will just make it harder. I know you’re not a religious gal and that’s OK, but every time I read your biog, I ask God to send you comfort in your pain for that moment, that day… I believe he/she does that for all of us, so I hope you can eventually feel it. One day you will wake up and feel a tiny bit easier with your grief. It takes time, but don’t give up hope for that day to come!

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  3. Don’t change a thing, is my feedback. Pour it out, let the readerchips fall where they may. The key aspect is having your therapeutic outlet; readers will come and go. I have shared your blog on my social media. I feel it’s valuable for many to read your words, not just people thrust into widowhood. Reading your blog has reminded me how fragile life is and how it can change in an instant. Your words have moved me to action that I may not have taken otherwise. Thank you ❤ One thing you don't have going for you is making connections across social media channels. Growing readership may be a slow burn, but if you get something that hooks the masses watch out! Love ya, Greta

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  4. Nothing you blog is going to drive me away. I have struggled with depression for most of my life, sometimes paired with grief. I’m used to hearing the things you’re saying from other people in the therapy groups I’ve been in, so while it worries me, it doesn’t scare me and it won’t drive me away. If you don’t acknowledge what you’re feeling, you won’t heal. When you’re in the emotional place you are, it’s very very hard to see any happiness, almost anywhere, and acknowledging it is fleeting, so I don’t expect a unicorns and rainbows blog from you. I’m beyond thrilled to see small victories in being happy. I’m sorry you’re in the middle of a tidal wave, just the grief alone would be enough to deal with, but the rest is numbing. You write what you need to write, that’s what this is for. We’re here so your voice is heard ❤

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  5. Keep as is and don’t change your approach. Your words are authentic and are just as impactful for us readers as it’s therapeutic for you. One day at a time and loads of love to you.

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  6. Blog as often as you want or need to. Daily, hourly, whenever. This is your outlet right now and you need to write as often as you feel the need. This is about real life. The hurting and painful part of life. No one is forcing your readers to read, and if it gets too depressing, let them leave. Some of us are walking this path with you because we’ve walked a similar path. Others may walk it in the future. This blog is all for you right now and those of us who decide to stick around will be celebrating with you as the pain slowly subsides. Blog on Lisa!

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