I’m going through something fresh where I cannot stop thinking about him. I wonder what Michael would think of this, or I remember when Michael said that. I should text Michael. I should ask him what he wants for dinner. At the store, I still have to stop myself from buying his favorite things. I need to ask him this. I need to tell him that. Why can’t I get it through my head that he is GONE? He has disappeared. He no longer exists. His ashes are in our bedroom. He’s gone, Lisa. Just gone.
So, I paint. Woodwork is coming along. This is my living room window.
My last post about PTSD relates to this pic. My daughter has the full-blown flu. She’s staying in her basement apartment for the most part, and I got the flu vaccine so I think I’m safe, but my immune system isn’t worth shit so I can’t take chances. The first time I wore one of these was last January when my dad was dying. Then I didn’t see them again until Michael was dying. Putting them on now brings it all back. And honestly, how much does it suck that I happen to have a stock of these?
As promised, my dogs for those who don’t know them yet. All rescued of course.
Cass: My troublemaker crazy minpin. She’s about 9 we think. She came to us about 7 years ago now ❤️. She was pregnant when she arrived and had SIX gorgeous puppies.
Rosie: my sweet girl. She died on my guest bed and I gave her CPR. Two vets told me to euthanize her, I obviously told them to go to hell ❤️
Bella: my grumpy old lady. She’s ancient, partially deaf, losing her vision, and I think she’s going senile. She came to us 7 years ago and seemed old then! Lol She’s very sweet and funny. ❤️
And Baby Faye, my superhero puppy. Her story is too long to tell tonight, but she’s a miracle puppy.
I see the neurologist this week and I’m also going to try to get back to therapy.
I’m finding myself feeling cautiously hopeful about the rescue. Good Karma rescued two dogs this weekend, and we are planning a rescue run in a couple of weeks. We’re saving again and it feels good. I questioned whether my heart would be able to get back into it, but that’s no longer a concern.
That’s all my news for now. Thanks for following and caring. ❤️